Changes

Change. If you want to make people angry, simply change something about their life. For some reason, we as humans think that once things are the way they are, well, they will be that way forever. I am maybe the most guilty of this charge. Recently Facebook changed their layout...again. Since I created mine, in June 2006, Facebook has been re-designed multiple times, each instance creating an uproar that would make you think that they were adding 5 more years to every high school curriculum. Don't get me wrong, I get as upset when outside forces change the course of my life as much as the rest, but I think that as life goes on it's important to get a handle on *our* reactions to such changes. Change is, as cheesy as this sounds, inevitable. It happens with or without our permission. Actually, if change happens WITH our permission chances are we aren't so upset about the process. One way or another though things shift and twist and abruptly flip around in our lives so fast that by the time life settles down we forget to appreciate the fact that it all turned out ok. So all of this to say, next time Facebook remodels itself, instead of joining thousands of groups protesting the horrid offense on our lives, (and similar scenarios in more important facets of our lives) we should step back, evaluate what's going on, and not freak out. Unless you see that there is legitimate reason to freak out. Then it's ok.

Priorities...

School, work, boy, friends, family, church, laundry...it seems as though the priorities you want to have and the priorities you are supposed to have are usually different. At least, that's how it seems for me right now. We tend to take on so much, I especially right now just have a ton of things that I'm required to do, whether I volunteered for it or it was thrust upon me. I want to be able to focus on the projects that I enjoy the most, the ones I am most passionate about and that I will get obsessed with and spend all of my time thinking about, but there are things that "trump" those right now. Mostly school...I'm definitely slacking due to my vast extracurricular life. I've never really put school as a number one priority (or even two) and that is definitely coming back to bite me right now. My lack of attention to my work is very apparent right now, and on one hand I feel bad, I know my professors expect 100% effort, but I can't/don't want to give that. Maybe I have senioritus (it snuck up on me this time around) or maybe it's because my classes are theologically deep and interesting but have no current value/effect on my life. Whatever the case, I can't wait until May when I don't have to worry about it. Then I'll just have other things to learn to balance...

Here We Go...

I'm not gonna lie...blogging is something that has always intrigued me, but never actually tempted me. Since this is for a class I guess it's a good excuse for giving it a try...who knows, maybe it will stick. Writing, although not a huge passion or gift of mine, has always been something that I enjoyed, but also that I feel comfortable with. Expressing myself has always been hard, verbally it is nearly impossible, but the delete key (or an old school eraser) makes me much more comfortable with sharing my thoughts and opinions. Opinions, though, are never hard for people to share. That's one thing I should probably keep to myself more often, but that's just no fun, is it...

So I've been listening to a lot of Ben Folds lately, the 'Rockin' the Suburbs album, and for some reason I think it's been making me somewhat nostalgic. That isn't quite the right word, but it's close enough. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm at one of those huge turning/stabilizing/changing points in my life. When I look forward to where I will be next year I can honestly say I have absolutely no idea where I will be. Sometimes that concept scares me, but currently I'm kind of cool with it. I've been craving a slight change of scenery lately, so physical location doesn't bother me, but it's everything else. My entire life could be 180 degrees different within the span of a year. Now really, this is nothing to freak out about...it happens often, and it's definitely happened before, but I guess I just hate the fact that I know it's coming and all I can do is sit here and wait for it to happen. Also, I tend to screw stuff up when I have a long time to prepare for it.

I'd so much rather just fast forward to this year next time so I can see how everything plays out, but if that were possible life just wouldn't be any fun. I guess I just need to find contentment in today, instead of just wishing it was tomorrow. I know someday I will wake up and be 40 (or 50 or 60) and wish I could go back to today, so I should better just stop complaining now. Mostly I'm excited though, these changes for the most part will be good ones. I worry about the relationships I have with my friends (ok, mostly just Kate and Meg...but they are the only people I actually still have a 'relationship' with from my prior groups of friends). Things change, but even in this case I don't think there is any reason to worry. (Oh right, there's never a reason to worry...I just like to sin a lot) So yeah...I think thats all I can really say about this. There's no use thinking about things that haven't even happened yet, and I want to enjoy the changes as they come. Maybe I'll still be on here in a year and I can come back and laugh at myself for being so dumb as to think that change will be a problem...because it really never is.

This is for my class...

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