Here We Go...

I'm not gonna lie...blogging is something that has always intrigued me, but never actually tempted me. Since this is for a class I guess it's a good excuse for giving it a try...who knows, maybe it will stick. Writing, although not a huge passion or gift of mine, has always been something that I enjoyed, but also that I feel comfortable with. Expressing myself has always been hard, verbally it is nearly impossible, but the delete key (or an old school eraser) makes me much more comfortable with sharing my thoughts and opinions. Opinions, though, are never hard for people to share. That's one thing I should probably keep to myself more often, but that's just no fun, is it...

So I've been listening to a lot of Ben Folds lately, the 'Rockin' the Suburbs album, and for some reason I think it's been making me somewhat nostalgic. That isn't quite the right word, but it's close enough. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm at one of those huge turning/stabilizing/changing points in my life. When I look forward to where I will be next year I can honestly say I have absolutely no idea where I will be. Sometimes that concept scares me, but currently I'm kind of cool with it. I've been craving a slight change of scenery lately, so physical location doesn't bother me, but it's everything else. My entire life could be 180 degrees different within the span of a year. Now really, this is nothing to freak out about...it happens often, and it's definitely happened before, but I guess I just hate the fact that I know it's coming and all I can do is sit here and wait for it to happen. Also, I tend to screw stuff up when I have a long time to prepare for it.

I'd so much rather just fast forward to this year next time so I can see how everything plays out, but if that were possible life just wouldn't be any fun. I guess I just need to find contentment in today, instead of just wishing it was tomorrow. I know someday I will wake up and be 40 (or 50 or 60) and wish I could go back to today, so I should better just stop complaining now. Mostly I'm excited though, these changes for the most part will be good ones. I worry about the relationships I have with my friends (ok, mostly just Kate and Meg...but they are the only people I actually still have a 'relationship' with from my prior groups of friends). Things change, but even in this case I don't think there is any reason to worry. (Oh right, there's never a reason to worry...I just like to sin a lot) So yeah...I think thats all I can really say about this. There's no use thinking about things that haven't even happened yet, and I want to enjoy the changes as they come. Maybe I'll still be on here in a year and I can come back and laugh at myself for being so dumb as to think that change will be a problem...because it really never is.